Jeannette Eva Qualls Heeding "Patt"

Pat is gone. She slipped from this earth peacefully on the evening of July 25, 2010 in Sandy, Utah. The only peaceful thing in her life in many months. Her suffering is done and she can be whole again and no longer feeling confused and in pain.

some dark days

As I write this it is unknown what will happen in the days to come with my grandma, Pat Heeding. Her dimensia being very bad and her moments of clarity being that of thoughts of suicide and of wanting to be dead. She asked me to kill her and when I refused she got mad and said she would have to do it herself. She has suffered a few strokes and as of late has started falling in the night when she should be in bed. If my dad hears a thud he checks on her to find her on the floor of her room, this last one she had hit her face and was bloody but nothing that wont heal quickly. If he doesnt hear a thud he finds her crumpled on the floor the next morning. She doesnt know how she gets there and is either having more srokes or just doesnt want him to know what she was doing or doesnt remember what she was doing. The doctors insist there is nothing that can be done. She is too old they say. I hate that she suffers. I dont want to say goodbye, but I dont want her to stay and be miserable. Others who have gone, come to visit her. She will tell me that Betty, her cousin, was just here a minute ago and said she would be back for her. Her parents have stopped by a time or two. Her brother, Gail, comes by for a visit now and then. Not long ago she was visited by my grandpa, Paul, and was very upset by his visit as he left without her. She chased him out into the road and my dad had to go and get her and bring her back into the house. These of course are all loved ones who have crossed to the other side in the past years, most being gone for several years now. She has taken, in her moments of confusion, to sneaking outside and going out to the road and yelling for help. She is hard to calm down and usually my dad has to have a neighbor call one of his sisters to come down. One very nice lady who has lived next door for several years was nice enough to stay and help him calm her down when they couldnt get a hold of either Cindy or Billie that day.
Well as sad as it is, that is the update on my grandma. I hope that happiness and health is part of all of your lives. Take care my cousins. I hope you are all doing well.