some old photos

Most of these photos were taken in the 1940's. They are brothers Paul and Bill Heeding, Paul and Pat Heeding, and one of Pat when she was 17, and one of Bill flexin' his muscles! these are the only pics i have of Paul with his brother Bill. The ones of Paul and Pat were taken in California when she went out there to marry him while he was on leave from the USS Aldebaron in 1944.

some old photos

what now

in the past months we have lost two loved people in our families. with this loss i am finding things a bit confusing. the other day i even thought to myself that i needed to remember to write about something to uncle Bill. one chapter is closed and a new one is begining for all of us. there are things i still think of every day that i wish i could share with my grandma. knowing full well even if she were here i still couldnt share them with her. her last months were very harsh. she was down to 80 lbs at the time of her death. she no longer resembled herself in so many ways. her eyes blank from the blindness and the dimensia, her mind wavering in but mostly out of reality. her final days were spent in a drug endused sleep. she had another two strokes in her final week the last one left her inconsolable. she would cry and scream for help but couldnt say help from or for what. she was disoriented and scared and no matter what was done she would not calm down or be consoled. finally hospice advised a drug endused sleep. she slept her final three days. she took her final breath just about quarter to five in the evening on July 25, 2010 and slipped away. she is finally with the loved ones she has longed for. she is with my uncle Bill, her siblings, and my grandpa again. i hope that they are on some beach some where and having the time of their lives. in that world they are all whole and happy again, they have no pain and hopefully have no memory of the pain they suffered prior to their deaths. they will be missed, loved, and remembered for the rest of my life.
now the rest of us continue on without them. i for one am selfish and not shy to admit that i would prefer to have them with me. my dad asked me last night what now? what do we do now that they are gone? for this i dont have an answer, frankly i have asked myself the same thing. eventually the wounds of loss heal to some degree, maybe one day i will get through an entire day without tears. try to help one another the best we can. know that we are still a family and will be forever bonded by those who are gone.
i am in the process of creating memorials for my grandma and uncle Bill on a website www.findagrave.com they are still very much a work in progress but feel free to check them out if you wish. i welcome input. i already have one that again is still a work in progress for my grandpa. i update things and add things at will. if you have imput on any of the memorials i created please email me @ saratogaredneck@yahoo.com
don't cry for me,
i am finally free.
the pain is no longer here,
i can play like the deer.
don't cry for me,
i'm a bird in the tree.
the songs that i sing,
a smile for you may they bring.
dont cry for me,
i'm the waves upon the sea.
sometimes wild and harsh,
and sometimes quiet as a marsh.
dont cry for me,
heart and mind are they key.
watching over you from a far,
i'll be wherever you are.

in loving memory to
Paul Heeding 2003, Jeannette Heeding 2010, Bill Heeding 2010, Bill Qualls 1997, Virgil Gail Qualls 1987, Lee Qualls 2002, Peg Qualls O'Neil 2002